


Autumn memories

by Tokomi



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Feels, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Inspired by Fanart, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:56:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8547019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tokomi/pseuds/Tokomi
Summary: Autumn is a good time for remembering nice moments. And when you know someone for 10 years, there are many memories...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Jesienne wspomnienia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8102164) by [Tokomi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tokomi/pseuds/Tokomi). 



> Inspiration: http://eva4art.tumblr.com/post/145627058774/how-can-it-be-real-i-know-i-found-love-when-i  
> Beta: Fou (thank you! <3 )

The sound of leaves falling down from park trees was interrupted only by quiet snoring on my shoulder. Armie was sleeping peacefully with his lips slightly opened. I loved looking at him napping, he looked really cute. And I had many occasions to do that. Actually, every time we met, Armie had to go to sleep even if only for a little while. I got used to it. In the end, I've known him for exactly ten years.

Under this very tree, under which we were sitting now, we met each other for the first time. I don't count the moment when I saw him at the begging of the school year in elementary school. Just in exchanging looks we promised to be enemies. Hatred at first sight? Maybe. From the beginning, something about him didn't seem right. I believe you would say I'm right. An elegant shirt without one fold, his back straight as if he swallowed a stick, and he was looking down at others, even if he was the shortest one in class. And he was ginger. A stupid prick, full of himself.

We were avoiding each other for about two weeks until our teacher spotted it. But even she couldn't convince us to exchange two words. Both of us were stubborn as hell and it was our only shared trait. Armie was a typical nerd, me - school hooligan. Everything changed one autumn day, quite similar to this one.

I was walking through the park between my school and home. The way was really short and I wanted to be independent, so my parents didn't walk me home. I saw two boys from higher class, who were throwing a bag between them and Armie, who desperately tried to get it back. They didn't pay attention to me, being sure that I won't interfere, but I kicked one of them in a leg as hard as I could and caught the bag. When they saw my face and realised that their prey is no longer outnumbered, they stopped this cruel fun and went away. Armie and I were left alone.

"I didn't need help," Armie murmured, trying hard not to burst into tears.

I got angry. So I was getting into trouble,only to hear that it wasn't necessary 

"I didn't need help," I mocked him, making a stupid face. I thought that he would take offence.

But suddenly the redhead burst into laughter. Loud and honest. Maybe as a child I couldn't properly name it yet, but I felt that every of his polite smiles was artificial. Then, under this tree, I saw for the first time Armie showing his true feelings.

Before I could realise, I was already laughing with him, until our stomachs started to ache. At last, the boy wiped his eyes with the end of his sleeve and gave me a hand.

"Awmitage Hux," he introduced himself. These were the times when he had problems with saying "r". Nevertheless, I knew his name, because it was on a list, which was read every day by the teacher.

"Ben Solo." I shook his hand, just like adults do. And this is how we became friends. Even at this very beginning, I got this feeling that I should take care of him and shield him. There were a few more times when they've tried to bully Armie, but quickly the whole school got that we're keeping close to each other.

Some years had passed before I found out, why so often Hux is sleeping when we're in my room or in this park. Once I really wanted to see Armie's house, his room and meet his parents. He was very secretive about that, while we were meeting at mine quite often. He never let me walk him home, he didn't even want to tell me his address. One day I followed him. It wasn't easy, he was looking behind from time to time, but I kept the distance. Eventually, he got to a beautiful, expensive mansion. I couldn't believe, what I saw. True, Hux's manner suited someone from the elite, but he was never spoiled. He had, what he needed, but not what he wanted. He neither was going with our class to cinema or aqua-park nor getting pocket money.

I waited a few minutes, then I walked through a perfectly well-kept garden and rang a bell. A woman opened the door. His mother, I presumed. Long after that, I found out it was the wife of his father. Too plastic to be beautiful. Sharp face and so much of make-up.

She looked at me and I was sure that she'd slam the door, but suddenly I saw Armie's father. It was impossible to get wrong, ginger hair and similarity were undeniable. He asked coldly, who I am, not even trying to hide that he wasn't happy about my visit, yet he did let me in and told how to get to Armie's room. When I walked in, Hux was completely shocked. Me too, seeing tidiness as in a laboratory and absolute lack of private things. No photos, figures or posters on walls. Only some books, but when I glimpsed on titles, besides textbooks and vademecum I noticed just a Hitler's biography. Compared to my room, full of souvenirs which I got from father's journeys, games and my grandpa's photos, his was resembling a prison cell.

"You shouldn't be here," he murmured, instead of greeting me, breaking the silence at last.

"Yet I am." I smiled lightly with satisfaction, that I stood my ground. "You never have guests?"

He answered only by shaking his head. Now I understood him. And I stopped wondering. Armie was behaving like even in this closed room we were watched and eavesdropped. I haven't stayed even an hour. Then I found out, that he was beaten by his father for bringing strangers. It was the first and the last time, when I came "officially". But I started sneaking in through the window, in the middle of the night. At these times, Hux was normal. I also understood, why he can't get a decent sleep at home, although he said, that when we're together, he has fewer nightmares. I always came home at dawn.

I glimpsed at Armie. He was still peacefully napping, not moving even when I put my nose between his copper hair and sniffed. I always liked the smell of them. Again, the memories came to me.

Hux's surprise, when I kissed his cheek for the first time. I was just a kid and I thought it was perfectly normal to kiss someone, who you like. Cause mum always did it to dad... at least at times, when he was home. I wonder, how much time has passed, since he went to his newest delegation. I lost count. It made no sense, he has never been back on time. But Armie completely didn't know, what I am doing. He went pale and looked as frightened, as if I was checking his taste before eating him. I think that the first time he saw kissing was on a film or on a street.

Yet he was the first to break a limit a few years later, when our meetings in the park started to look more like dates. I clearly remember the panic in his eyes, when we were sitting next to each other, under the tree, silently resting after a day full of tests, when I came closer. At first, he pulled back, but suddenly he caught my neck and pulled closer, kissing me fast, sloppy and short. Just after, he looked away, all red and awkward. And I smiled with tenderness because after all that moment was really enjoyable.

Although, only after a half of a year I got enough courage to admit, that I got closer to him just to pull out a bug from his hair.  
More shameful, than the first kiss, was only our first sex. I kept repeating, that we don't have to hurry, but Armie was stubborn. Hard to wonder, not long before he had acute pneumonia. Since I remember, he was quite sickly, but this time he was in such a serious condition, that he went to the hospital. Doctors couldn't guarantee that he'll live. And I couldn't even visit him... Whole nights I spent crying on my pillow, barely eating and I couldn't focus on anything. I don't want to think, what would happen if I lost him. But he did recover. When he got out of the hospital, he told me that he fought for life only because of me. He wanted to see me once again. It was the first time when he cried in front of me. Probably in front of anyone.  
That's when Armie also confessed, that he want to make love with me. An occasion came two weeks later. We set up a sofa in my living room, cause I decided, that my bed is too small. Hux was scared as hell even to undress, but I softly kissed every one of his bruises, scars and cigarette prints. He was as stressed as determined and I was worried that even with my whole delicacy I would hurt him. Yet after that, he told me that for the first time he felt this good, it almost didn't hurt and comparing to what he has experienced before, it was like mosquito's bite. I wanted to know, what he was talking about, but I didn't have time because we just dressed up and I put stolen vaseline back in the bathroom, when my parents came back. Although I think that my mum guessed, what has happened. I don't know if dad knew too, but considering how much he cared about his own son, I doubted that he gave a damn about my friends and relationships. On the other side mum always liked Armie. She often invited him for a dinner and half-joked that I could be as polite, as him. Well, in a way Hux had a good influence on me, truly because of socialising with him, I had better grades. But not in the least he made me like studying. I knew that in order to not disappoint his parents, Armie had to choose the best high school in town. I just couldn't imagine us splitting up. And it worked out. Learning all nights was worth it, we got into the same class again.

I suspected that mum has guessed what's between us, but she never started that topic. Only one day after dinner she asked me if I know about Hux's bruises. I have no idea, how she could see them. Armie always minded to cover them up and his father wasn't that stupid to hit his face or other easy to spot parts. But sometimes despite him trying his best he couldn't walk completely straight or for a split of a second, there was a grimace on his lips when he sat. Someone, who wasn't paying attention wouldn't get it but Leia was watchful. I answered that I know, but Hux was begging not to do anything about it. Despite all the hurt he respected his father and worried about getting from frying pan into the fire. Besides this, he explained that Brendol is a too influential man to mess with him. She respected Hux's and mine decision, and I changed the topic quickly. I wasn't ready to get out of closet.

Actually, after few months I didn't make my mind, but it came out somehow. Yet, I was even less ready to hear these three words from Hux.

"We must split," he confessed, when we were going back from school.

I stunned and stopped.

"But..."

"I'm going to a military academy." He didn't even look at me. But I heard tears and pain in his voice.

I didn't understand. I couldn't stop him. I let him go and stayed alone on the street, shocked and unable to accept this news. I couldn't believe that.

I went home. Mum immediately noticed that I'm quiet. She wasn't convinced that I'm just tired.

"I'm going to a military academy." I specially used the same words as Hux.

"You mean after high school, right? So eventually you are following your grandfather's steps..."

"Not really... I decided that, because I'm coming with..."

"Armie," she ended for me.

"How do you know?" I looked at her, surprised.

"He's general's son, it's nothing unusual that he's under pressure of continuing father's career. And I can see, how much you care about him."

"I love him," I admitted, almost bursting into tears.

"Love isn't easy," she sighed. She didn't have to add that she's talking about my dad, she looked at his usual spot.

"Do you regret?" I asked quietly, then I swore in my mind. I shouldn't ask about things like that.

"I don't," she answered, to my surprise. "I would be a foolish idiot if I would have thought that living with your father would be nice and easy. Besides, how can I regret, when I have such a wonderful son?" She smiled and petted my hair. "Han is how he is, and he was always like that. But inside he is a good man, just not too good in showing his feelings. You can be sure, that he loves you, he's proud of you and nothing about it would change just because you want to be with Armie."

I couldn't stand it anymore and started crying. Mum's eyes were also watery, but she smiled slightly and hugged me. Realisation, that Hux doesn't have such a person like my mum, made me cry even harder.

"Fight for him," she whispered when I calmed down.

The next day, just when I saw him walking to school, I took him behind a building and kissed him passionately. He resisted a bit, but it was fake as hell. I knew he still wanted me. That splitting up is the last of what he wants.

"Ben, we can't," he whispered, with hurt in his voice.

"I'll follow you, even to the academy. My mum already knows everything."

"What if she tells my parents? They can't know about our relationship!" Hux started to panic, but touching his cheek as always calmed him down.

"She won't. Don't worry about anything at all, okay? And even if it will come to light, then we'll think something up. I won't give up on you so easily, I promise." I put my forehead at his and smiled softly.

"If you say so..." He kissed me. Only when we realised, that we're almost late, we pulled off and ran to school.

I came back to reality when these long, golden eyelashes slightly moved. Slowly, Armie started to wake up. He stretched and yawned.

"Have I slept for long?"

"No... Maybe for a quarter?" I shrugged, then I looked at my watch. More than half an hour passed. "Okay, a bit more." I hugged him. Day was warm, but when sleeping it's easier to get cold.

"I hope you weren't too bored?" he looked at me.

"No, I was remembering good old times. Today passes exactly ten years since we're friends."

"Exactly? How do you know?"

"And who wrote in a diary the date of meeting his first friend?"

Hux blushed and smiled. "You're right. Time flies fast."

"Let it fly, as long as nothing changes." I kissed him tenderly and he pulled me closer, spoiling my loose bun. But in no way it disturbed our moment of happiness.


End file.
